Utterly Normal

Joshua is doing so well.  He has had a couple times where we have seen quiet tears.  It is hard to see him have sad moments, but I know he needs to process those emotions. I think we would be more concerned if he wasn't showing emotions.  Most of the time, the emotions we see are delight, enthusiasm, curiosity, determination and joy.  He is a busy, active boy and has many things to learn. Most of the time, he is compliant and wanting to please us. He has pretty strong opinions and as he learns what is expected in our family, we will have our share of conflicts. He is not afraid to express his disappointments when we tell him "no" or to let the kids know when he isn't happy with something they are doing.    For now, most of the time, he really seems to want to fit in with the kids. He is very generous with his smile and his hugs. He is trying to help with chores and doing a pretty good job at it. We took him to a park on Tuesday to play soccer and Frisbee and he had a great time.  Yesterday, we took him swimming at a friend's pool. He had a great time. Yesterday morning, I observed him playing in his room for a long time.  He had a collection of lego vehicles and people and was arranging them various ways, talking in Chinese the whole time. Other than the fact it was Chinese, the whole scene was just so strangely normal.   Just like our other kids, he will have his own struggles and areas for character development and training. He may have unique struggles as he processes the hurts of his early childhood.  We can do lots of reading and preparing, but will ultimately just have to trust that God has a plan for this boy and will equip us to be his parents.   We are not super parents. While in China, when people found out we have six children now, they would frequently say what a great mother I must be.  The doctor from the orphanage, whom we had met when we received Anna and have corresponded with since then, kept telling us we are the best parents. So many times, I have felt like I should wear a big sign fully disclosing how unamazing I truly am.  Most of our friends and family reading these posts already know we really are not super human parents. All I can claim to be is willing, and quite honestly, at first I was a pretty reluctant and frightened willing parent. When we had our third child, people often asked me if it was harder to go from 1 to 2 children or 2 to 3 children. I always answered it was hardest to go from 0 to 1! I didn't grow up dreaming of being a mommy and practicing my domestic skills. I imagined climbing the corporate ladder and hiring a house keeper.  My ambitions were fairly self centered and even though I wanted to be a mother and had great role models in my own mother and mother-in-law, I was fearful. I felt so utterly inadequate when our sweet little Rachel was born!   Praise God for faithfully leading us on paths and adventures we would never dream possible!  My children would tell you my favorite chapter of the bible is Hebrews Chapter 11, "The Hall of Faith."  I love the list of unqualified candidates that God used to accomplish His purpose and the reminder that if we walk by faith, He can use us, even if we don't see the fruit in our life time.   I still feel pretty unqualified to manage a household of 8 on many days, but am thankful that God has led us on this adventure. It will be exciting to see what he does with each of these lives, in spite of my inadequacies and failures along the way. Because I didn't set out on this path or envision having all of these children, I think it has made the miraculous journey much easier for me to see. So many miracles happened along this journey to Joshua, just as they did for Anna and as they did for each of my birth children too. They all have a story.  On difficult days, when I feel overwhelmed and inadequate, those miracles remind me that God has a plan and purpose and He will be faithful to complete it if I am willing to just keep walking.   If Joshua has adjustment difficulties or adolescent difficulties, I will remember the miracles that brought us from seeing an unlikely photo to bringing home a little boy. I will remember the unlikely timing of events and God's amazing Providence that helped us to complete this adoption. I will remember that sometimes God uses a "divinely appointed mistake" to accomplish His will. I will remember that it didn't matter that the odds were against finding this boy's file, it didn't matter that China was changing the process for listing harder to place children, it didn't matter that the US was changing immigration procedures, it didn't matter that swine flu closed Joshua's province to adoption appointments or that various forces were plotting an uprising there because God had a plan to bring this boy here.  I may still have times when I feel inadequate and overwhelmed and we may have painful difficult days, but we will remember that God's purpose will prevail.  We only need to keep walking the path he puts before us.  "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." (Romans 8:28) "And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart." (Galatians 6:9) "For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them." (Ephesians 2:10)   If you would like to follow the continuing adventures of the Aldrich Family,  we will be posting again on our family blog next week – JbarJHappenings. You can email me for a link.  Thank you for following our journey, praying us through and encouraging us in so many ways.  Kristine for the Aldrich Family (Pete, Kristine, Rachel, Sarah, James, Mark, Anna and JOSHUA!)